I Hate Valentine's Day [DVD Review]

Last year’s limited summer release of the movie I Hate Valentine’s Day is this year’s DVD release, just in time for Valentine’s Day. Unfortunately, I Hate Valentine’s Day is not a film that needs a lot of fanfare or even to make note of the fact that it will be available for purchase because there’s nothing to it but a few one-liner jokes and some awkward moments.

After the success of My Big Fat Greek Wedding, which comes off as a very complete comedic film, everyone was really hoping John Corbett and Nia Vardalos would be able to work together again and bring their chemistry back to the big screen. If the stars ever align, and such a pairing is a possibility for the two, I Hate Valentine’s Day is not it. Although both films were written by Vardalos, the chemistry of this film is lightly fizzy at best.

The story focuses on Genevieve, played by Vardalos, who has a love for romance but not relationships, and has devised a system for romance without eventual pain and unhappiness by only allowing herself five dates with any guy. After five dates she and the gentleman wooer are to shake hands and be friends, never to have to worry about commitments, feelings, or any of the negatives that can come with relationships.

Corbett’s character, Greg, the new guy in town, likes Genevieve’s idea and decides to go on those five dates. After date number four, which lasts a little longer than a normal date, Greg believes the five dates are over while Genevieve believes she deserves the fifth date. This is where the film turns, finally starts to get even remotely interesting, and transforms into the typical “why hasn’t he called” type flick for the remainder of the film.

I Hate Valentine’s Day feels like it takes forever to get from point A to point B, and it’s not because the pacing of the film is entirely off (although it could be better), it’s that the plot is so lackluster and thin you can see through it. We know Genevieve has daddy issues that cause her to be non-committal, and we get that Greg has nothing better to do in life than hang out in his restaurant and either talk or not talk to Genevieve.

The biggest problem in this character driven story is that the characters are relatively flat and awkward. Even the nameless “friends” of the main characters don’t seem to connect and the cast is far too large and spread too thin for the audience to get on board with the story. Sure, there are some redeeming qualities to the film, some good points about romance and relationships, and some nice touches, but not enough to save the sinking ship. So while I can’t say I hate I Hate Valentine’s Day there was just so much there that wasn’t working, it is far from a great movie or even a good fluff movie. If you dare use this DVD for a date night, you may just end up sleeping on the couch.

On the Disc:

As for the disc material for I Hate Valentine’s Day, there’s nothing there that will redeem the parts of the film that are lacking, no actor interviews where they delve in to the deep chasms of their characters, no quirky outtakes, and certainly no audio commentary by those responsible for making the film. This is mostly because there’s nothing there. Nothing. Unless you consider a chapter selection bonus material or being able to watch the trailer a special feature, there’s nothing on the disc but the film.

-Margaret Williams