Jeff's Five & Dime: Special Super Bowl Commercial Episode
Submitted by Jeff Clark on Mon, 02/08/2010 - 14:22
Favorite
5. Hyundai Brett Farve 2020 MVP – This commercial was a hit with my family. From the hologram MVP trophy to Brett waffling on coming back to play again, to his own admission on being older than even the coaches, there wasn’t much not to like. Will it make me buy Hyundai? Probably not, but I did get a big chuckle while watching it.
Not-So-Favorite
5. Bridgestone Tires Whale – At first I thought this was a parody of Free Willy but we weren’t so lucky. Three guys try to keep a whale wet on their frantic drive back to the sea. The whale then blows whale snot on them before getting jettisoned out the back of a pickup truck. The cheesy reference to it being an awesome bachelor party sold me on how bad this commercial is.
If there is one thing both guys and girls are doing this post-Super Bowl week, it's talking commercials. The advertisements have reached the level equaling the importance of the actual game itself. Being the resident “jock” of the staff here at Wide Screen Warrior, I could easily dissect the game and tell you how the Saints won it or how Payton Manning blew his shot at a second ring. However, in this special edition of Jeff’s Five and Dime I am going to join in the post-Super Bowl shenanigans and give you some Ad-talk.
Advertisers should pay attention to learn what was good (violence and sex) and what was bad (anything with a whale or resembling a whale, yes, that includes Charles Barkley). In this special edition of Jeff’s Five and Dime we are looking at my favorite five AND not-so-favorite five Super Bowl commercials. So stay in your seats, you can run to the fridge when the game comes back on.
5. Hyundai Brett Farve 2020 MVP – This commercial was a hit with my family. From the hologram MVP trophy to Brett waffling on coming back to play again, to his own admission on being older than even the coaches, there wasn’t much not to like. Will it make me buy Hyundai? Probably not, but I did get a big chuckle while watching it.
4. Punxsutawney Polamolu – Troy Polamolu from the Pittsburgh Steelers has become a big time NFL player in commercials as of late, finding spots in Head and Shoulders and Coke commercials. This year TruTV took this big time star and shrunk him down to groundhog size for this spoof of Groundhogs Day in Pennsylvania. Also, what more could a true football fan ask for during the Super Bowl than six more weeks of football?
3. Volkswagen Punch – The violence continues with my number three pick. Volkswagen attempts to expand the “Punch Buggy” game where you punch your counterpart in the arm when you see a VW Bug to its entire line of VW cars. The best part of this commercial has to be when the little kid punches his grandfather in the crotch. Advertisers, learn from this commercial, you want to make this list? I need to see crotch shots, especially on old people.
2. Megan Fox Motorola – Referencing masturbation during a family event like the Super Bowl was bold and thus is why I have put this ad featuring one of my least favorite actresses in my top five. I love how even the two homosexual men slap each other showing how well regarded Megan Fox is for being pretty (I did not say a word about talent). Combining sex and violence was a good choice for this Super Bowl spot.
1. Betty White and Abe Vigoda Snickers – Mars Brand hit early this year with its Betty White backyard football commercial. The Best part of this commercial is when Betty White gets nailed and drops the ball. Again, advertisers take note, if you want to make me happy get an older actress and somehow find a way to knock the crap out of her. Then, to put the icing on the cake, the quarterback, due to his hunger for a Snickers bar, turns into Abe Vigoda and gets popped. That’s two aging legends of comedy getting tackled in the same 30 second spot. For that, Mars brand, you are landing at number one on this special edition of Jeff’s Five and Dime.
5. Bridgestone Tires Whale – At first I thought this was a parody of Free Willy but we weren’t so lucky. Three guys try to keep a whale wet on their frantic drive back to the sea. The whale then blows whale snot on them before getting jettisoned out the back of a pickup truck. The cheesy reference to it being an awesome bachelor party sold me on how bad this commercial is.
4. U.S. Census – To have the quality of comedic actors in this commercial and come up empty was embarrassing. However, to blame this on the actors just isn’t fair. The overall message and tone of this ad was off to begin with. Oh, and let’s not get me started on the amount of tax dollars we wasted filming this and then slotting it during the Super Bowl.
3. Boost Mobile Super Bowl Shuffle – Most people younger than me have little to no recollection of the Super Bowl Shuffle from 1986 or who Jim McMahon is. Boost Mobile’s biggest demographic is not the 35 to casket that would have any knowledge of the magnitude of the Super Bowl Shuffle. The Boost Mobile demographic most likely was lost during the commercial, making this ad not funny and ineffective. Also did anyone else notice all the football players have the same jersey on? Come on Boost at least spring for different numbered jerseys.
2. Taco Bell and Charles Barkley – Taco Bell teased us for weeks saying they would “unveil” Sir Charles’ Five Dollar Box Poem on February 7. Needless to say, it was not worth the wait. The poem was bad and it was really more of a rap rhyming “box” with “Rocks” and “Locks” over and over again. I really expected more from Charles because he can be really funny, but this was just really bad.
1. Emerald Nuts and Pop Secret – “Awesome + Awesome = Awesomer” claims this ad, but the problem is there is nothing, and I mean NOTHING awesome about this commercial. A Sea World like water show, but with humans instead of animals doing flips for popcorn and nuts, might have been funny on paper. The execution here is severely lacking. What is it with nut companies and wanting to put unattractive people in their ads? Last year Planters ran an ad with an unattractive lady using Planters Nuts as a perfume and this year a hideous looking man is directing this freak show on water. Marketing gurus at all nut companies: please, please stop using ugly people to sell nuts.
