In preparation for reviewing this game, since many 3D games and videos give my oh-so-sensitive brain a freaking killer migraine by sending millions of microscopic ninja marines through my pupils and into my main cortex to start stabbing whatever they can find into grey matter, I took heavy doses of Vicodin, Advil, Clonazepam and washed them all down with a tall glass of Jack Daniels.  Drinking and driving on a handheld console while tipsy is no way to go through life, son.

A quick history of Mario Kart: it is the best selling game for the Wii, with Mario Kart being owned by one out of three Wii parents.  I tried to find facts to back up the previous statement and found it second behind Wii Sports, which shipped with the system.  You can find out what other garbage Wii owners bought by going here.

After logging into the 3DS and preparing for another night of drinking a migraine away, I was pleasantly surprised to find Mario Kart 7 is a fun and enjoyable game.  In the vein of all the other racing games and Mario Karts out there in the vast nothingness of space, Mario Kart 7 has a few things going for the title many lesser games cannot compete with:

Mario:  Nintendo has said many times over, Mario is their flagship mascot and anything they create with Mario in the title is sure to sell more copies than if they didn’t have Mario in the game.  Truer words have never been spoken: if Mario and Sonic at the Winter Olympics can sell a few thousand copies, I’m sure it was because of the Red-Hatted plumber and not the bright blue rodent who’s difficult to catch.

Racing:  Mario Kart has two main elements for fun based into an otherwise boring repetitiveness of car racing: Throwing crap at other cars and multiplayer, which allows you to throw crap at other people.  From the very first Mario Kart on the Super Nintendo, fans have been flocking to play and perfect their times on specific courses to beat up on their friends to find out who goes and gets the next case of beer.

Legacy: As I said earlier, with Mario, Nintendo can milk the series for all its worth before having to revamp or redesign the engine that makes Mario Kart what it is: Entertaining.  Mario Kart has never taken itself seriously enough to offend those die-hard racers who are trying to shave seconds off of lap times in Gran Turismo or F1 while still giving players of all ages something exciting and unique to do while racing.

Fun:  Games these days (get off my lawn) are striving so viciously to have the best graphics engine and the tightest frame rates while missing out on the one main thing people played video games for forty years in the first place: Fun.  The Atari 2600 had loads of games and tons of people talking about how they spent X amount of time playing Pac Man.  Graphics and physics didn’t matter.  It was FUN.  The player’s imagination took over in games like Zork and the original Sierra games like King’s Quest and similar titles and their graphics and game play was horrible.  Mario Kart 7 has not forgotten the reason people play these games is to enjoy them – not to look at the nicest car on the screen.

Mario Kart 7 for the 3DS might be the first game released which makes me consider buying my own 3DS.  It’s fun, it looks great, and it didn’t give me a migraine after playing for a few hours – which is a feat by itself.  I’ll admit I wasn’t a big fan of Mario Kart for the Wii, but it was more because I only played online against people who targeted me and called me mean names while wiping the floor with my Yoshi.

Bottom Line:  A simple play on a level with tell you if you want it or not.  If you enjoyed any of the other Mario Kart games, you’re sure to enjoy this one on the smaller screen.

- Chris Tallant